Uncategorized

A Shell Of A Woman Playing Quarters With The D

**WARNING: Look away if you can’t handle gross body functions,  disgusting hospital procedures or my mother.** Humor is my coping mechanism. If I suffer a mild trauma I can usually see the humorous side of it almost immediately but more severe traumatic experiences could take years. I recently suffered a trauma at the hands of […]

Uncategorized

Texas, Public Information, Telemarketers and Singing Butt Monkeys

Dear State of Texas, You have disappointed and irritated me today. Since I am a native daughter, disappointment and irritation at my beloved state are rare and unpleasant feelings for me which could result in a lot of local stink eye. These stink eye inducing feelings are compounded by the fact that I’m not exactly […]

Uncategorized

Making Your Fruits and Veggies Happy

We’ve recently starting participating in Bountiful Baskets and as a result I’ve had to do some quick research on the best way to store fresh produce. First of all let me say that so far I’m very happy with Bountiful Baskets. The fruits and vegetables are extremely fresh and delicious and I’ve estimated that we’re […]

Uncategorized

From Squirrel Feeders to Disintegration Bundles

I just love the internet. Sure there’s some bad stuff out there that you should avoid and some people should probably steer clear of it completely but for information junkies such as myself it’s an eternal fountain of joy. I especially love it when I start looking for one thing then accidentally stumble upon something […]

Uncategorized

Slacker Sacker Girl Offs Unsuspecting Cheetos

Reason #8,942 why I despise grocery shopping: Ditzy 14-year-old-too-bored-with-her-job-to-care Slacker Sacker Girl ran out of room in my cart and ended up making a wobbly pyramid out of my grocery sacks because she failed to utilize that precious cargo space under the seat when she so carelessly tossed the bags into the cart without arranging […]